That dating scene...

I'm not part of it.

The end.

HAHA!

I'm so funny!
I laughed...

But yeah, dating.
Who wants to date these days?
Times are different these days, take the concept of taking someone out to eat.
In the olden days this was done as a way of courting women, to gradually work them into spreading their legs.
Now shit is different.
Due to the promiscuity of several members of the female population...
The act of taking someone out to dinner is more about making up for what you did to them.
Since they had to endure having your sweaty, ugly, dirty, hairy and shitty man body on top and around them.(I'm fucking glad I was born with a penis!)
I mean, I would not want such a disgusting creature to grunt and hump me.
Which is probably the main reason why I never turned gay.
The concept of gay is quite appealing though, since you get to hang out with your best friend all the time.
With the only difference being that you're fucking him as well.
Sounds like an awesome concept really, quite fantastic if you ask me.
Like a wise person once pointed out to me:
Would you like to be in a normal bar, or a bar filled with people who think like you and want the same thing?
It's quite an easy choice to make, really...
Having never tried shoving something up my ass, I don't know if I would dig it.
What I do know is that I would not like an ugly ass man crawling all over me and grunting.
Or having a dirty cock shoved into my face, ugh.. I threw up a little.

Nasty thought...

I have a problem with even writing about it, since I picture in my head everything I write.
This is also why I do not write about sex in anything that I do, maybe I'll write about lesbians one day...
Hmm... Good idea actually...
BRB! "Writing..."

Even if you took one of those daddy boy man babies, you know the ones who wax their body and spend more time in the gym than the gym equipment.
I would not like it still!
Because you can take a piece of shit and shine it up, but it is still going to be a piece of shit.


Enough about man babies, this was not supposed to be about that.
Dating, yes dating...
I am too lazy to meet women, but when I do meet them it's all good.
You see, I just cant be bothered with going out and meeting someone. So I do it the easy way.
I stalk people I know on facebook, trying to make the conversion into sexytime.
Which is just making me out to be the horniest motherfucker on the planet, that sleazy motherfucker who just wants to get in the pants.
Yes, I have turned away and lost quite a few friends to this practice.
This is probably not far from the truth in most cases, but it is hiding a very important fact about me.

I'm really just a hopeless romantic...

Not many people would believe this due to the fact of how I portray myself to the general populace.
But the truth is, I just want to find somebody to settle down with.(Simmer down bitches, I'm not ready just yet!)
To grow old and not have to worry about where the next blowjob is going to come from.
Because you would know that you would not get one anymore, because that penis has turned older and more wrinkly.
The problem arises for me when everybody just thinks I want to get down and dirty, just to ditch them after the fact.
When in reality I'm trying to weed out the bad seeds amongs the female population that I know.
Which is not the best of candidates I admit, but there are some golden ones in amongst them.
I am fully aware of how I'm shooting myself in the foot with my general behaviour towards these women.
How could I possibly hope to get a long lasting partner when everything about me just screams dirty sleazebag.
But you know, I find it very difficult to care about that.
Honestly, it is definately a part of me. Some piece of me is a dirty manwhore.
So they should just be used to it before they start fooling around with me, so that they are not surprised when the manwhore arises.
Because it will eventually surface, when I start with my whorish behaviour at home.
Now dont get me wrong, when I'm in a relationship I am fiercly loyal.
I flirt with other bitches sure, but I never do anything with them.
That part of me is reserved when I enter into a serious relationship.

Don't worry about the lack of rants, I'm just getting the knowledge of me out of the way first.
So that you all can see where the fuck I'm coming from when I explode textwise over everything.

-MEATY!