A Journey Through Bands - Slipknot

Recently I wrote about In Flames, and how they changed my life. I've had a lot of people comment my blog (Obviously not on the blog, because my readers are anonymous fuckers who just reads what I write and leave me to dry like a common whore), but what really surprised me is that people agree with what I wrote. Like last time, I'm gonna dig into my past, and into the band that helped me transcend beyond Pop-Metal; Slipknot.

I'm sure most people know of, or at least have heard about Slipknot. They're the nine "angry" guys with masks who try their best at making, well really fucking spiteful music. At least, it's what they used to do, today, I'm not really sure. I guess with Corey Taylor's new-found love for sappy tunes and gay-ass music, the band has found itself on a steady decline down "I miss my blanky" road.

Oh, you don't believe me??

Yeah, sure. He's got talent, whatever... Say what you like, make any excuse you can come up with, but I firmly believe that if you're gonna front a band who's theme was "I'm wanna slit your throat, and fuck the wound", you better fucking live up to your image, because now, I can't picture Slipknot as a serious band anymore. I just look at them, so "angry" on the stage, and think to myself "Every cowboy, sings a sad, sad song"... It's just not in me to love these guys anymore. Watching bands like this falter at the steps of grandeur saddens me immensely. It saddens me beyond mortal words.

I still find myself burrowing into their old albums from time to time, remembering that special teen frustration I had way back when, and I silently shed a metaphorical symbolic tear because Corey, all by himself, has taken those sweet mental images and raped them with pink, rainbows, rabbits and unicorns. That son of a bitch has savaged my teen memories, and I slightly hate him for it. Yeah yeah, I know, people should be allowed to out-fold themselves and discover who they are an... FUCK THAT SHIT!!! I want angry music! I don't wanna watch him cry over a river and beg whatever bitch that left him to forgive him! I wanna hear him tell me how he will utterly destroy that bitch's life. I wanna listen to him tell me the story he made up in his head, where he carries her to a butcher, hacks her into pieces, grinds her into mincemeat and feeds her to her family. Where the fuck did his balls go? No more mister fag-pants!! No more tears bitch, man up and make us some gory lyrics.

Anyway.

Back in the days, I could spend hours listening to their songs. I would delve myself into them, and vicariously live through his words and stories. One could almost go as far as to say that by living through his words, I prevented myself from actually hanging someone by their own intestines. You hear that Corey?! Now it's on you, you sappy piece of maggot shit.You fucking ruined everything, you fucking fuck fuck... fuck..

Sorry, I keep derailing... Just thinking about the band and their plummet into lame-ville makes me angry.

SO! As I was saying. Slipknot used to be the band parents would warn their kids about, up there with Marilyn Manson... Yeah, I went there you stupid shit... UP THERE, WITH, MARILYN MANSON! Because face it, they're not "UP THERE" anymore (And honestly, Marilyn Manson isn't really, "up there"  either, but the smart ones reading this shit understands what I mean). Now, well... They still make angry, or, frustrated music... But it's not really the same. Just like I said about In Flames, it seems that the world is moving along, and Slipknot is just cruising in the back with Justin Bieber and Enrique Iglesias. It'll take a grand act by the band if they're gonna try and creep up the ladder again. They still have million of angsty teens who'd die for a chance to meet them, because their music inspired and "understood" the youth, I just hope that they'll come back around from their faggety trip around the metaphorical musical globe, and start making music that makes sense, or, that allows me to funnel anger and frustration through their songs. And also, that they stop making those sad, sad tunes where Corey slices his wrist with ice crystals made out of desalinized tears.

For now, I'll stick to the Iowa album and blast "People = Shit" until I can supress the tainted memories. You're welcome to join me. Let's all pray to the dark gods on the other side of River Styx that Slipknot prevails through Corey's sudden loss of manliness.

Band Awesomeness - Used to be 10/10... Now it's like... 0/10. (Unless you're listening to Iowa... then we're back at 10/10)