Absence

Yeah, so the header isn't really telling you anything. No, I'm not loitering about thinking of how I am so very lonely in this wretched piss-stinking world, and no I'm not missing anything or anyone. Thing is, I'll just be absent for about a week. I'm leaving with nine other cuddly men for a cabin trip, where gay anal sex and blowjobs will be of abundance. We will touch each other in places where no one has touched before, and steamy-sweaty sex sweat will glaze all the floors.

Enough with the fantasies.

I'm not really much of a... cabineer? cabin-trekker? cabanero? Meh, I'll stick to "I'm not a very adventurous type". I like the comfort of my own couch, where there are few to no surprises. Here, I mostly get caught off guard by people suddenly dropping by, or my girlfriend ranting about how much she hates her menstruation. It's adventurous enough for me.

So, where will we be going you might ask? (I'm still gonna answer even if you didn't) Well, all the way into fucking nowhere. It'll be miles from the nearest anything, with shitty weather and coldness all about. Once at the cabin smack in the middle of emptiness, we'll eat gay food and talk about gay stuff. We'll even play gay games, and maybe even fish for gay fish. In fact, everything about the trip is gay. Even our snowmobiles are gay, with their sexy exhaust pipes, leather seats and hard handles. (You even gotta tug them into starting... snicker snicker)

We'll we lighting gay candles, while singing gay songs. We'll write poems and dedicate serenades to the stars and reindeers walking around us. We'll even have a gay love child, whom we will name Leon, because he will be proud and fierce as a lion, knowing that he has ten gay fathers. He will fight against bigots and other people with strong prejudices against his way of life, and maybe one day he will grow up to be the president of America. It's a low ambition job, since anyone without a brain can go for it, but you get the gist.

Stories will be told about the massive gay-fest that happened in the cold Northern-Norwegian mountains. There will be rumors, even legends, and in time, people will only dare whisper. It might even get to the point of being so much gay, at such proportions, that even the all mighty God is going to have to smite us all, in case we infect the world with a new breed of gay virus, that will turn everyone so incredibly gay that gayness will be the only way of life, and Leon won't have to suffer all the horrible mockery.

So gay.

If you suddenly realize you're gay by Monday, it might be our fault.